Well, this month’s recap on my weight loss journey will likely be a short one. Mostly because I’m up to my keister in trying to get everything to come together for the Mildred Haun Fiction Workshop that I’m leading on Saturday, February 13, 2021. 

Also because, there’s not much to tell. 

There has been continued nausea, but it’s tapering off, thank goodness. The diarrhea is still a pretty steady thing, especially when I eat certain things. You would think that, knowing an equation such as D = D (Eating Dairy = Outcome of Diarrhea), that I would learn to stay away from dairy products. I cut them out for a few days, then I miss them and go back for “just a little,” and there I am again. It’s a vicious cycle and I’m hard-headed. The good news is that I learned quickly that cake frosting is out the window. Yeah, only took me once to get that one committed to memory. Not that I should be eating frosting, anyway. Or cake, for that matter.

I haven’t been eating as “clean and lean” as I started out, either. Frankly, I got tired. I know that I need to get back to it. I even had an amazingly successful Pampered Chef party and was able to get some phenomenal tools and products for absolutely free, to help in these endeavors. And I choked. I need to regroup, re-focus, and renew myself to the cause. But I do love my new Deluxe Air Fryer. Russ and I both use it a good deal.

I’ve still lost a little more weight, despite falling back onto some of my bad habits, but I’m not where I’d like to be at this point. On January 4, I weighed 300.2 pounds, according to the scales at the doctor’s scales. When I went to the doctor’s office later in the month for an ear infection, there was a discrepancy of about .2 pound between my scales at home and the ones at the doctor’s office, which is close enough for me to call it a wash. On February 5, I weighed at home, wearing the same outfit I’d worn to the doctor’s office on January 4, and I weigh 288. I’ll take 12 pounds in one month! I’m still proud of that, but I know that my good habits are less good than they were two weeks ago, and I know that I need to get back to that. I just feel so incredibly stressed about the upcoming workshop (for one thing). 

And for another thing, maybe the bigger thing, the Contrave is curbing my appetite so much that I honestly don’t want any food most of the time. Which makes me not want to cook or prep or do the things that I need to do. I fix something or get something to eat, take a couple of bites, and my stomach says, “You don’t want that,” to almost everything I try to eat. Except for biscuits. I crave buttered biscuits. Which is not “clean, lean living” food, lol! I’ve lost all desire for hamburger, which is a huge part of our diet, seeing as how we get a side of beef from Rhudy Livestock every year. Steaks, I still desire. Hamburger, not so much. It seems to be a texture thing. Chicken seems to be okay most days. But there’s the issue of it being thawed. And, really, who wants chicken every day? I need to get back to fruits, too. 

Hopefully, once this workshop is over and I’m not a bundle of nerves about that, I can rededicate myself to the cause. I will start taking time and making time. Maybe I will even back down to two Contrave from three, just to see if some of my appetite comes back. It’s hard to get excited about eating “clean and lean,” or anything else, when you just don’t want to eat. Adjustments are necessary soon, I think. 

But I’m keeping my commitment of keeping you informed. I’m sticking to my guns. I’ve even worked out with my resistance bands a couple of times. Which is hard, by the way. I can only go for like three minutes at a time before I’m completely gutted. Maybe by the next time I write an update I’ll be up to four. I’m okay with baby steps. I just want forward progress